| alright.
so. lots has gone on since the last time ive updated this thing. bah. iuno. i guess right now im really just trying to focus on living my life. and i mean. ALOT of things that im trying to get through are preettyy tough. but every now and then i just have to keep reminding myself, that..if its supposed to happen..it will..and if it doesnt, then what are you gonna do about it? sometimes its like..did i make a mistake? should i regret it? but then sometimes i feel like.. everything happens for its own reasons, we all have our own plan and out own destiny in this world, right? so does that mean, if things were meant to be that it will happen? or no? do i believe that? bah. its weird becuz sometimes its like the only thing that will comfort me is knowing that 'things happen for a reason' but what if things happen the way they do because you just..-let them. You let them become what they became and you just have to live each day. . what if you could have controlled the outcome, and you made a decision. isnt there such thing called a wrong decision? so what if you made that 'wrong' decision? do you say. well, that happened for a reason? or do you just go on regretting it and move on? bah. its weird.
its like people have things in their lives that they cherish, and love, but they live their lives day by day and also do things that can push away, or take away the people that they really care about. people make choices, and sacrafices for their own reasons, and sometimes they have to live with the outcome, some can say it was 'meant to be that way' or 'there must be a reason' but either way, you live your life, you do what you choose to do and you control your own actions, things happen, no matter what reason you choose to believe that they happen, things will change, and sooner or later you'll experience that sense of regret and 'what if's' . . but this is the world that we live in. its as real as it can be, and you just need to learn to live with the cards you're dealt, and make the best of it. sometimes it may not be what you expected, and sometimes things definately wont be 'easy' to go through, but sooner or later, you'll find the place where you were 'meant' to end up, because the choices that you make today, will sooner or later affect where you'll end up in the future. so when your trying to make a decision, listen to yourself. if your trying to figure out whats in your heart, just listen to it,and -nothing else, because the heart knows what it wants, you may not know what its reasons are, sometimes there just isnt a reason, thats one of the mysteries in life. you may not know why you feel one way or another, but who are you to blame? its not like you can control the way you feel on the inside..right? it just is. even if it seems like it isnt the right time, dont try to fight it and make it go away. just be who you are, and know who you are. In doing that, it'll help you end up in the right place, at the right time, and with the right people. basically-just stay true. |
ive been reading through my old entries. and its kinda weird. but alot, and i mean ALOT has changed since i first started out. first of, im done with all the switching boys + dilemmas. im glad where im at and im really really REALLY happy. all i need is my babyyyyyyyyyyy. 
